The Invisibles

In the UK, we recently celebrated Mother’s Day which inspired this post.

“How moms shape the world” is a fabulous talk that evoked a rollercoaster of emotions, as Anna tells the story of three ‘invisible’ women who raised men who made a positive difference in the world.

Used as scapegoats in society, women are sometimes subjected to mother-blaming for their offsprings’ behaviour and shortcomings, often work a triple shift to support the family financially, manage the household, plus provide emotional support as they are the social glue of the family. But, rarely are mothers’ efforts widely acknowledged or publicly praised.

Women are simply expected to fulfill this role; just as men are often expected to fulfill the instrumental role of providing for the family, as touted by functionalists who believe these instrumental and expressive qualities are innate.

In the absence of a father, as it is usually (but not always) the mother who stays, the parent who remains gets blamed for their children’s behaviour. Yet they may be attempting to navigate solo parenthood, while juggling other responsibilities and commitments, without the support of a wider social network.

Parenting is no easy feat.

I should say that mothers are not all saints. We are still human, after all. But I like to think we are trying to do our best with the psychological, physical, and social resources we have access to.

I love the fact Little Simz invited her mother on stage to collect her BRIT award and publicly acknowledged how her mother’s support had contributed to her success.

Watch one visible heroine here:

All this talk about parenting reminds me of Philip Larkin’s frank and funny poem, This Be The Verse. I think if more people knew about the reality of parenthood, we wouldn’t have a population crisis : D


Which invisible people could you show gratitude for today?

Onwards and strongwards acknowledging all the individuals and groups who support us on our unique life journeys xXx

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